Welcome to episode 110, luminous writers. Today’s mini episode, “Handle Rejections However You Want,” explores essential strategies for dealing with the inevitable rejections all writers face. We’ll also encourage you to handle feedback your way, rather than following some prescribed “right way.” Drawing from my 14 years on Room’s editorial collective and my work with luminous writers in my courses, I’ll show you how to turn rejection into resilience.

If you submit writing, you will experience rejections. It’s an inevitable part of the writing process, but you can manage it in ways that build resilience.

When that “no” comes at you, feel however you want to feel. It’s perfectly okay to take rejections personally and have a brief meltdown. These feelings are a natural part of the process.

But after the initial emotion subsides, you can get back up sooner with a few tricks. Here are five strategies to manage rejection and keep your confidence intact:

1. Feel your emotions: Allow yourself space to be disappointed or frustrated.
2. Use a ‘wins’ folder or notebook: Revisit positive feedback from trusted mentors and friends.
3. Remember it’s not personal: Rejection doesn’t necessarily reflect the quality of your work.
4. Create a feedback filter: Identify whose feedback truly matters to you and why.
5. Play a game: Celebrate submissions and rejections, focusing on effort rather than outcome. Try games like Sink or Submit, or gamify your submissions by aiming for 50 rejections in a year.

One effective strategy is to keep a wins folder or notebook where you record positive feedback from trusted mentors, friends, and editors.

Tip: Review past “wins” to remind yourself of your accomplishments and the positive aspects of your writing journey.

In that notebook, you might also write these sage words from my former Room colleague and friend, Tamara Jong: “Sometimes there’s nothing wrong with your writing when it’s rejected.” Let me repeat that: “Sometimes there’s nothing wrong with your writing when it’s rejected.”

I’ve turned down work I absolutely loved because it didn’t fit the issue or we ran out of room in Room. (Ironic, I know.) All a rejection means is that your submission didn’t meet the specific needs of an editor at that moment. It provides no information about flaws in your work.

Plus, unless you get a personalized rejection, you’ll often never know how far along your piece went. (That’s why a personal rejection is such a big deal—it means someone took the time to engage with your work more deeply despite the overall volume of submissions, and you got to see how far it went.)

Now, let’s talk about something we often do when faced with rejection: we fill in the blanks with hyper-critical feedback. It’s common for us to create a negative feedback loop that plays on our biggest insecurities about writing. This is often accompanied by shame—”How dare I think my writing was suitable for the journal?”

But here’s the thing: this hyper-critical feedback often stems from our own fears and doubts rather than the reality of our work. When you catch yourself in a negative feedback loop, pause and ask: Where is this coming from? Is it rooted in a past rejection or insecurity, or is it constructive criticism you can use?

Remember the cold, hard stats about lit mag acceptance rates: only about 3% of submissions get published! This means a lot of excellent work gets rejected. It’s not a reflection of your worth as a writer—it’s a reflection of the numbers and often a matter of editorial fit.

Writers in my community play a game called Sink or Submit, where you “win” by having the most active submissions out and get more points for rejections, but then go back to zero when you have work accepted. This lovely game highlights how submitting and rejection are reasons to celebrate and claim rewards (which they bestow upon themselves by declaring it).

Tip: Gamify rejection to help you keep your focus on what matters to you. (Hint: what matters is not wallowing over rejections.)

Remember, rejection is a normal part of the writing journey. It doesn’t define your worth as a writer. Keep submitting, keep writing, and most importantly, keep believing in yourself and your work.

Here’s a practical tip: create a Feedback Filter. Make a list of people whose feedback you truly value. These could be trusted friends, mentors, editors, or people who align with your writing values. For each person on your list, write down why their feedback is valuable to you. Consider their vulnerability, understanding of your voice, or alignment with your goals. This list will help you determine what feedback to take to heart and what to let go of.

Another helpful practice is to start a Positive Feedback Journal. Dedicate a journal solely to positive feedback and accomplishments in your writing journey. Look through any emails, comments, or memories of encouraging words you’ve received and jot them down. This serves as a powerful reminder of your progress and value as a writer, especially when faced with rejection.

Lastly, practice being a compassionate self-editor. When revising your work, approach it with kindness and curiosity. Ask yourself, “How can I make this stronger?” rather than “What’s wrong with this?” This gentle yet insightful approach will keep you connected to your writing and engaged in the craft without spiraling into unnecessary self-criticism.

As you listen, I encourage you to think about the last rejection you received. How did you feel? What steps did you take to recover? Reflecting on these moments will help you implement the strategies we discuss today.

So those are my strategies for handling rejections in writing, emphasizing that there’s no “right way” to deal with feedback. Key points include:

• Acknowledging that rejections are an inevitable part of the writing process
• Allowing yourself to feel emotions associated with rejection
• Using a ‘wins’ folder to revisit positive feedback
• Understanding that rejection isn’t always personal or indicative of your work’s quality
• Creating a feedback filter to identify whose opinions truly matter
• Playing a game (like ‘Sink or Submit’ or aiming for x number of rejections) to celebrate effort over outcome
• Recognizing that rejection rates in literary magazines are high (about 97%)
• Practicing compassionate self-editing

The episode encourages writers to develop resilience, maintain confidence, and continue submitting their work despite rejections.

The Write, Publish, and Shine podcast is hosted by me, Rachel Thompson, with sound editing by Adam Linder.

To learn more about my work supporting writers, visit rachelthompson.co and sign up for my weekly Writerly Love Letters, packed with encouragement for your writing journey.

Before you go, make sure to subscribe to Write, Publish, and Shine so you never miss an episode. If today’s advice resonated with you, share this episode with a friend or fellow writer—let’s spread the message that rejection doesn’t define us.

Until next time, keep writing, keep submitting, and keep shining!

As we reflect on rejection and resilience in our writing lives, let’s also consider how we can stand strong in our convictions. I record this podcast from the lands of the El Muzina Bedouin in South Sinai, Egypt. In these difficult times, I stand in solidarity with those facing injustice, particularly the ongoing violence against the Palestinian people.